On the latest episode of The Kardashians, which aired Thursday, June 1, Kim vented to her momager, Kris Jenner, about all the stress her ex-husband caused with his hurtful claims about her and her family.
This episode picks up where last week’s season premiere left off, with the reality star saying, “Even how [Kanye] looks so down on me for my sex tape, brings it up all over town, all over the media. Like, thanks for reminding people once again.”
She continued, “All of his shenanigans is gonna be far more damaging to the kids one day than my tape will ever be, and I have to sit here and not say anything, ever, because I know one day my kids will appreciate that. And I know that is the best thing for them.”
Together, Kanye and Kim share four children: North, 9; Saint, 7; Chicago, 5; and Psalm, 4. Post-divorce, Kardashian has made it clear that protecting their children is her primary concern.
“I still feel the need to not talk about it and protect it from my kids and I always will feel that way, but God, if people knew,” she admitted in a confessional. “I just would never do that to my kids. It just is really crazy.”
The disgraced rapper has done a lot of damage to his own reputation since getting a divorce from the SKIMS founder, including praising Hitler and revealing intimate details about his marriage to crowds at political rallies. In the process, he’s done just as much damage to his relationship with Kim, but she insists that she can no longer work on trying to help him.
“Sometimes I feel like if he were to hit rock bottom, that’s his journey that he needs to figure out on his own. I used to run around and call everyone behind his back, and be like, ‘It’s gonna be OK, it’s gonna be OK, don’t worry. Just give him another chance,’” Kardashian said in the episode. “I used to spend hours and hours and hours of my day to be the cleanup crew. I just don’t have that energy.”
Later on, in another confessional, the reality star talked about trying to protect her own reputation amid so many outlandish claims from her ex-husband.
“I’m the one being accused of so many things and being blamed for so many things and it’s really hurtful and it sucks,” she said. “But, I can control how I react and I can control if I’m a mess, [and] then my kids will see that … I really do believe in my soul that one day, my kids will appreciate my silence, my understanding and my grace, and I will try my hardest to keep it together at all times.”