Just Before My 37th Birthday I Found Out I was Pregnant, and Would Be Joining The Growing Trend Of Latinas Having Their First Child After Age 35. ABOUT ONE PESENT OF LATINAS ARE HAVING ESRST CHILD LATER IN LIFE DUE TO STRUGGLES WITH fertility But many Others are Making the Choice to have children late in life. The Reason for This Includes to Desire to Focus on Education and Career Goals to Hesitation Due to the Higher Cost of Living. MANY LASINAS ALSO HOLD OFF ON HAVING CHILDREN BACOUS OF FEAR AND ANXIETY RELATED TO PREGNANCY and Motherhood. We Know That Raising Children In Our Current World Will Be Challenging, and That Offe there is an unnequal burden placed onto us as women.
Initially i was shocked to read i was pregnant schouse Fertility Declines AFTER AGE 35. I HAD BEEN VERY DOUBTFUL THAT I COULLY GET PREGNANT. The algorithm was so powerful it made me discount my Own Family History. Women in My Family Had Children in Their Late 30s and Early 40s Although for My grandmother and my mother -in -law it was used child and not Their First.
After the initial shock at being pregnant i felt fear. Fear for How many Life Would Change, But Specially Fear For What Coul GO Wrong. I knew that at my age i wouled be consider “Advanced Maternal Age” (The More Politically Correct Tr “Geriatric” pregnancy) and my pregnancy wouled be classified as high risk. Sub of the Women in My Family had dealt with complications from their own late in life high-risk pregnancies. Also, Due to My Work as Trauma Therapist I was specially Aware of All That Could Happen During pregnancy from pregnancy loss to traumatic Childbirth to the potential for birth defects. I KNEW from Supporting Clients How Painful these Experiences Could Be, and I Questioned My Ability To Cope With All Of The Unknowns.
After confirmg my pregnancy with a test at My Primary Care Office I was referred to an Ob/Gyn. To my great surprise the ob/gyn wouldn’t see me for another month. This months Between visits my Thoughts and World Began to Festter. Without an ultrasound yet i imagined i would get to this appintment and be toled I Felt Myelf Growing Increasingly Anxium Waiting for the Appaintment. I Began to Wake Up at Night, My Racing Thoughts Focused on The “What Ifs.” I Felt Tense, At Times Irritable, and Nervous. I was distracted by my world, and UNSURE OF MYSELF. I collect these as signs of anxiety. Anxiety is submissive and have dealt with since Childhood, but got a good grasp on my Early Thirties. However with This Pregnancy I Felt It Return.
After My First Visit to My Ob/Gyn and Having The First Ultrasound The Pregnancy Felt Official. It was October and my baby was due in April. As I Gazed at The Long Road Ahead I KNEW I HAD TO GET MY ANXIETY UNDER CONTROL. Not only for My Own Well-Being, but also for the new Child Growing Inside of Me. I was Fortunate to have tools I had built this Own Healing Journey, and Tools I used with my clients as Trauma Therapist. I KNEW I WOUD HAVE TO REACH INTO MY TOOLBAG, AND USE EVYTHING I COULD TO GET THROUTH THE MOUTHS AHEAD.
My Perinatal Anxiety Toolkit
Radical Acceptance
The First Step I Took in Navigating Perinatal Anxiety was to surrender to radical Acceptance. I Accept The Fact that Most Things were new outside of My Control. I COULD NOT CONTROL MY PREGNANCY Symptoms Such as extreme fatigue. I COULD NOT CONTROL WHOTHER OR NOT I HAD A MISCARRIAGE. I COULD NOT CONTROL WHOTHER OR NOT MY CHILD WOLD SIGNS OF BIRTH DEFECTS. And the list went on and on. All I Could do was to accust before Things as Possibilities, and Focus on What Was Within My Control Like My Diet, Giving MySelf Breaks To Rest, Attending All of My Doctor Appointments, and Following Medical Guidance. Eleven and relased mySelf from trying to control outcomes i had little to no control over i felt relief.
Trust in My Future Self
OFTENTIMES WITH ANXIETY WE SPEND TIME IMAGINING POSSIBLE NEGATIVE, SCARY, AND OVERWHELMMMOR FUTURE EVENTS THAT WE THINK WE WON’T BE UBLE TO HANDLE. The idea of Being Overwhelmed in the Future Brings Anxium Distress into our present. INSERAD OF IMAGINING MYSELF CRUMBLING AT TOSE POTENTIAL NEGATIVE FUTURE EVENTS I DECIDED TO TRUST MY FUTURE Self. I Trusted That The Version of Me That Would Exist in The Future Could Handle What Came. I DID this by reflecting on my Current personal strengths and listing out the different resources and supports i had Such as a supportive husband and family and a Doctor That i Trusted. I also limited my focus to the short-term. ANYTHING BEYOND MY NEXT DOCTOR VISIT OR MEDICAL TEST WAS SOMETHING I LEFT FOR MY FUTURE Self. When Anxiety and Fear Hit I Would Remind Myelf That My Future Self Would Bring My Strengths, Resources, and Support System To That Future Future Situation Just As I Was Able to Bring Thu Same Things To The Present Moment. I Gave The Future To My Future Self To Handle and Focused on The Now. This reduced the pressure i cat to prepare mySelf for potential negative outcomes and allowed me to be more present.
Mindfulness
Mindfulness, defined as “Paying Attention in a particular Way: On Purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally” was Another Tool I Took from My Toolkit and Leaned on Heavily. During My Pregnancy Mindfulness Subtimes Meant Color Picking, usually Purple Subtimes Orange, To look for While I was out walking my dog. WHILE I WAS WALKING I LOOKED FOR ANYTHING THAT COLOR. WHEN I FOUNT IT I WOUD TAKE A MOMENT TO TAKE A FEW DEP BREATHS WHILE I HELD IT IN MY GAZE. This practice allowed me to focus intentionally on my surroundings WHILE WALKING INSTEAD OF GETTING LOST IN MY MIND. OTER Times Mindfulness was Approaching My Emootions Without Judge. If i Did have a scary though Related to pregnancy i wouled say to myself “You are feeling anxious scholause you are having the thought that submissive is wrong with your baby, and that’s okay. That is a scary though.” I Found that by observing my Thoughts in This Way and Validating My Own Emotions I Was Able to Release BeSe Worries and Emotions More Gently.
My Birth Experience
WHEN I FINALLY WALKED INTO THE HOSPITAL TO GIVE BIRTH TO MY SON ON A SUNDAY AFTERNOON I FELT NERVOUS OF COURSE, BUT ALSO READY. Scholause my Birth was scheduled i Even Felt a Degree of Control. I was Being Induced at 39 Weeks Due to Multiple Risk Factors, My Age of Course Being One and My Baby’s Size Being Another. I had an idea of how the induction wouled go, but when the first steppe failed – The Doctor Wasn’t Uble to Place The Foley Balloon That Was Intended to Kick Start the Entire Process – I KNew I Woold Need To Radically Accept That I had a lot of Less Control Than I had envisted a smooth process, and I acted that it was about to be more complicated.
In the Next Two Days I Attempted to Focus On What Was Within My Control, Often Limiting My Focus To Only The Next Few Hours, and Whatver The Next Step in the Induction Would Be. I used mindful Breathing to smow my brain down when I Felt Overwhelmed. This Allowed Me To Be More Clear Headed Which Helped Me To Make Decisions Regarding The Interventions I was receiving. Mindful Breathing Also Helped Me Cope With The Many Invasive Checks performed by Doctors and Nurses, and When the Painful Waves of Contractions Began. Finally, when it came to push and remembered all of the Times During my pregnancy i had trusted my future self. When the Doctor Told Me it was time to push it felt like the future was now. It was my moment to see This Process Through and Deliver My Baby As Best As I Could. And I Am Lucky and Grateful to say Irrided Safely, Nearly 48 Hours After The Induction Began.
In the end I Felt Proud of Myelf for How I Had Navigated All of the Fears and Change That Comes With Having Your First Child. The Journey Wasn’t Without Stress and Anxiety of Course. PREGNANCY AND CHILDBIRTH BOUGHT MANY UNEXPECTED CHALLENGES, BUT MY TOOLKIT HELPED ME FACE EACH ONE.
