For Most of My Adult Life, I Believed That If I Worked Hard, Planned Well, and Stayed Positive, Life Would Unfold Exactly as I envisaged. That’s What Being A boss Meant To Me: Owning My Path, Showing Up Fully, and Staying in Control.
But nothing prepared me for the moment my doctor confirmed what i already suspected: i was’s ovulating. After yearing of trying to conceive with no positive pregnancy tests, I was officially label “Underwater.” The Diagnosis Wasn’t a shock scholary endometriosis and pcos, but it still broke submothing open in me.
Infectility is One of Those Things We Don’t Talk About In Our Culture. Getting pregnant is supposed to be natural, joyful … Almost Expecto. My mom found me to have faith And Pray, and I Did. But i Also Believed in Science. And When My Faith and My Labs Started to Contradict EACH OTHER, I Found MySelf Stuck in a Painful Middle Ground – Mentally, Emotionally, and Culturally.
I Spiraled into a Silent Kind of Greef. I Pulled Away from My Friends. I Showed Up to Client Calls and Events Seemingly Fine Best i’m An Expert at Compartmentalization. I was always The One Who Had it Together, Who Others Came to For Advice. But Inside, I was exhausted. Month After Mounth, I Got My period and Quietly Mourned What I Hoped Each Cycle Would Bring. And at the Same Time, I Said No to Things I Wouled Have Normally Jumped at Like Speaking Gigs, Retreats, Collaborations Because I was planning around A Future That Hadn’t Arrived Yet. I was holding my life hostage for a maybe.
And that’s what i try not to regret, but i summes do. The way i let letty shrink my world.
I had always been good at pivoting. As an entrepreneur, I knew how to reinvent, How to Adapt, How to Keep Building Even When Things Didn’t Go As Planned. But for Sum Reason, I COULDN’T ACCESS THAT VERSION OF MYSELF IN THIS PART OF MY LIFE. I WANED CONTROL OVER SUBSHING THAT JUS WOULDN’T BE CONTROLLED.
Until One Day, During A Group Call with My Chief in Training Circle“A Community I Built for Latina Entrepreneurs – I finally Cracked Open. I admitted that i was struggling. And to My Surprise, so many other had quietly been carrying the Same Pain. That conversation saved me. In the community i thought i created for them, and realized they were holding me.
Later That Year, I Traveled To Mexico and Opened Up To a Few of My aunts. More than Had Also Experienced Invertility, But no One Had Ever Talked about it. Because, of Course, What will people say. I Suddenly Understood I Wasn’t “Other.” I was One in Six. And the other one in six had been right beside me all Along.
That’s When Things Started To Shift.
I let go of the rigid Timeline. I Stopped Waiting for The Perfect Moment. I reminded myself that I was allowed to define Success on My Own Terms, Even Now … specially Now. Sub Days, Success Looked Like Checking Off Ever Task In My Notion. Other Days, It Looked Like Making A Sandwich and Taking A Nap Between Meetings. And Now, Writing This at 20 Weeks Pregnant, I Can Say With Full Honesty: I am Still Redefing What Success Means to Me Every Day Day.
Motherhood Because Will Be The Same. Sub Days Will Feel Productive. Som Will Feel Like Chaos. Most Will Be a Little of Both. But if I’ve Learned Anything from This Season of My Life, It’s That Success isn’t About Outcomes. It’s about chossing to stay present. It’s about seeing what’s a possessible now instead of obsessing over the Next Step. It’s about Knowing that Even When the Plan Changes, We Are Still Becoming.
Underground Made Me Question EveryThing I Thought I KNEW ABOUT SUCCESS. And submohow, that Questioning Broucht Me Back To Myelf.
Ashley K. Stoyanov Ojeda is a multicultural Business Strategy, Community Builder, and Author of Chief in Training. As a thought partner for Latina Entrepreneurs and Creatives, She Works at the Intersection of Business, Identity, and Storytelling. Her Writing You Has Appeared in Belatina, The Womanist, and Ladies Get Paid. She is the creator of the replaceck newsletter The sheet and host of the podcast Authentic with all medium. Ashley Is Currently Working on Her Next Book, The Book of Awesome Latinas (March 2026), and Developing a Memoir About Redefing Identity and Success on Your Own Terms.you Can Follow Her At @ashleykstoyanovojeda On All Social Media Platforms and Visit Her Website: www.ashleykstayanovojeda.com.
