As Latin, we are offen raised with the value of family First, taught to be canekers who put Everyone’s Needs Before Our Own. When we start the cougogeous journey of Cycles Generational Breakingit can feel ovel overwhelming, specially if we were the first (or only) in our family doing the work. The conversation about Setting Boundaries OFTEN COMES UP, BUT WHAT ABOUT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BOUNDARIES AND BARRIERS – SOMETHING THAT CAN BE DIFFICUL TO NAVIGATE. SO LET’S TRY TO UNDERSTAND – WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BOUNDARIES AND BARRIERS ANYWAY?
Well, for Starters, Boundaries Are Healthy Guidelines that Help Us Protect Our Emotional, Mental, and Physical Well-Being. They allow US to engage in related relationhips while maintoining outfields Needs and Values. Think About Boundaries Like doors – You decide Who Comes in, How Long They Stay, and When It’s Time for Them to Leave. Boundaries Are Really Made Out of Love BeCouse The Allow US to Bring People Closer Institute of Pushing Them Away. It’s a way to prioritize your needs – Becouse Remember, You are Important Too.
Barriers On the other hand are like walls that we build, Submit Unantingionally, Out of Fear, Frustration, Or Hurt. Barriers Isolate US Emotionally and Can Shut Out Meaningful Relationships. Instead of at the door, to Barrier is more like wall, completely clossing off communication and understunding.
WHILE NEUTHER ONE OFSE CAN FEEL SO GREAT, WE DO NEED BOTH. Setting Boundaries Allows to Build Stronger, More Genuine Relationships. Boundaries Communicate Our Limits Clearly and Kindly, Helping US Avoid Burnout and Resentment. However, Subtimes, Temporary Barriers Might Be Neudary IF A RELATIONSHIP IS TOXIC OR HARMFUL, GIVING US SPACE AND PROTECTION TO HEAL.
Knowing When to use Boundaries versus Barriers Can Greatly Impact Our Mental Health and Relationships in General. Boundaries Lead to Growth and Improved Connections, While Barriers, IF Maintened for Too Long, Can Create Misunderstandings and Emotional Distence. EACH HASE Role depending on What You Need. The Key To Remember With Barriers Is That They Are Temporary.
Let’s be Real: Setting Boundaries in A Latinx Family Can Subtimes Feel Impossible. Family members might interpret our Boundaries as selfishness or disrespect. To Navigate This, Clarity and Honey Are Essential. While You May Not Always Want To Do This, Reassure Your Love Uones That Boundaries Are An Act of Love, A Way To Protect Your Energy, and Maintain Healthy Relationships. You are now Modeling Positive Behaviors.
Example of a Boundary or Puerta:
“Mama, I love you very much, but on Sunday i need time for myself to recharge. I’LL be there for you Thourhout the Week, but sundays are my day.”
Example of A Barrier or Pared:
Regularly Ignoring Phone Calls from Family Without Explanation. This Action May is an intentionally Communicate Rejection and Create Further Discence and Misunderstandings.
Let’s explore How we can see likese play in everyday life:
Example 1: The professional (The Career-Focused Eldest Daughter)
Let’s say that you are the first in your family to graduate college and land a full-time career. Pride of the family, right? But Now, You are getting Constant Calls to Help with Translating Documents, Running Errands, Or Even Sending Money – Subtimes While You Are In Ver Importent Meetings.
Boundary/Puerta (Healthy):
“I Want To Help But i Amable To an answer The Phone While I Am At Work. How about we plan to look at themse things over the weekend?”
This Approach Works Because You Are Not Saying “No” For Forever. You are saying “Yes” But on your term, The Tress That Make Sense Based On What You Have Going On in Your Life. This creates mutual respect and helps your family understand that what you have going on is important.
Barrier/Pared (unahealthy):
Avoiding Calls or Texts Entirely, Hoping They Will “Get the Hint.”
This Approach is Harmful Because While Silence Might Protect Your Schedule, Your Family Might Feel Rejected Because there is no communication. They Will Assume that you Think you are Better Than Them or “Forgot Where You Came From.”
Let’s look at the scarer example:
Example 2: The family organizer (The Emotional Anchor)
Let’s Assume You are the One Who Plans Birthdays, Coordinates Get-Togethers, Checks in On Everyone’s Health, and Remembers Everything. Lately Though, You Have Felt Emotionally and Physically Drained and Unfortunately, No One Sems to Notice.
Boundary/Puerta (Healthy):
“I love spending time with you but i need to rest and recharge. This time, and can organize the party but i can definitely help with submall Small.”
This Approach Works Because You Are Expressing Love While Also Honoring Your Own Energy. It Shows That You Care While Also Modeling for Others That Your Time and Well Being Matter.
Barrier/Pared (unahealthy):
You decide to cancel plans Last Minute Or Start Ghosting The Family Chats Because You Are Burnt Out.
This Approach Can Backfire Becouse Institute of Promoting Healing and Understanding, This Can Create Restment or Unnecessarry Drama – What You Were Trying to Avoid in the First Place.
I am the first to admit that setting Boundaries Can Be Challenging Specially When Was Not Subgo Sub Subject We Were Taught Early On. Because of this, It’s Important That We Are Constantly Doing Things That Can Relay Any Negative Feelings and Truly Focus on What Feels Right for You, In This Moment.
- Create Vision Board: You are not only reserve for the end of the year, you can start This at any time! Visualize Your Boundaries and Personal Goals in A Way That Honors All Parts of You.
- Cafecito Time: Schedule Daily Moments to Savor Your Favorite coffee with milk Or Tea, Reflecting Quietly on Your Emotional State and Boundary Needs.
- Community Check-in: Connect with Supportive Latinx Communities, online or in person, to remind you that you’re not Alone in This Boundary Setting Journey.
Lastly, I Want to Share Sub Tips On Managing Boundaries Across Different Relationships That You Might Have. EACH IS UNIQUE IN THEIR OWN WAY.
- Family Relationships: Communicate Your Boundaries With Empathy, Clearly Expressing How they benefit Everyone’s Emotional Health in the Long Run.
- Friendships: Engage in Open Conversations About Your Limits and Actively Liste to Theirs, Mutual Fostering Respect and DeEper Connections.
- Professional Relationships: Clearly Articate Your Boundaries Around Workload and Personal Time to Maintain Balance and Present Burnout.
- Romantic Relationships: Clearly Communicate Your Emotional and Physical Boundaries Early in the Relationship. For Example, You Might Say, “I Appreciate Our Time Together, But i Also Need Regular Alone Time to Recharge. Let’s respect Each Other’s Space to Reure We Both Feel Comfortable and Valued.”
Remember Amiga, Setting Healthy Boundaries Isn’t About Distancy Yourself From Those That You Love; it’s about Taking Taking Care of Yourself So That You Can Show Up Fully and Authentically. Embace This Powerful Act of Self-Love, Knowing That You’re Building A Stronger, Healthier Legacy for you and your family.
Patricia Alvarado Is a Psychotherapist Focused on Mental Health Issues Affecting The Latinx Community.
