Kim Kardashian doesn’t know how to handle her emotions following another one of her ex-husband’s public rants.
On Thursday’s episode of the The Kardashians, the reality star broke down as she talked to her sister Khloé Kardashian about one of Kanye West’s recent public meltdowns, which included a slew of antisemitic statements.
When asked by her sister how she is doing, the SKIMS founder burst into tears as she admitted that she is “not OK.”
“I’m just having such a hard day today,” she said, wiping tears from her eyes. She when on to note that she hadn’t changed her clothes in a couple days due to how overwhelmed she was by sadness.
“It sucks, you know? When someone doesn’t see how different they are,” Kim added in a confessional. “It’s really confusing for me, it’s so different than the person that I married…Because that’s who I loved and that’s who I remember and I’ll do anything to get that person back.”
In her conversation with the Good American founder, Kim went on to admit that she “feels bad” for Kanye following all of the public backlash being thrown at him…even though the rapper didn’t seem to care himself.
“I don’t even think he feels bad for himself,” Kim told her sister. “Because I don’t even know if he knows how.”
Due to their strained relationship, the reality star said she hadn’t reached out to her ex-husband due to fear that he would “go off on [her].”
“The whole situation is sad and I don’t know how to emotionally manage it,” Kim explained later in her confessional. “I’m conflicted because I don’t ever want to jump in and be a part of a downfall for the father of my kids.”
When Kardashian admitted that she felt like Kanye losing brand deals was all her fault–especially because she spoke out in support of the Jewish community–Khloé quickly shot that down.
“It’s not your fault. It’s really not,” her sister insisted. “He had so many opportunities to retract what he said and he would double-down all the time.”
After her conversation with Khloé, Kim seemingly understood that “people make their own choices and their own decisions” and she simply doesn’t have any control over that.
“It’s really f**king hard,” the mother of four explained. “I’m never a woe-is-me, sad kind of person, but there’s times when I get overwhelmed.”