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Eight Absurd Cam’ron Lyrics We Hope He Breaks Down in His New Memoir

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Cam’ron has given hip-hop three decades of colorful rhymes from his life and times. Now he’s committing those stories to a hardcover book.

About two weeks ago, the wordsmith, born Cameron Giles, announced that he closed a six-figure deal with Simon & Schuster to publish his memoir, which is slated for a February 2026 release (aligned with his 50th birthday). It’s an opportune time for Cam to get reflective and open up about his experiences, given the popularity of It Is What It Is, the hit sports-culture podcast he co-hosts with Mase.

Cam has been connected to lore that spans sectors, so there’s no shortage of inspiration for him to source. He’s the Willy Wonka of rhyme schemes, a standout high school hooper and hustler, rap’s pink pioneer. You can expect the irreverent Diplomats founder to open up about musical friends and foes like Big L, Jim Jones, Mariah Carey, Jay-Z, Nas and 50 Cent. He’ll likely delve into his on-air trolling of Bill O’Reilly, how he made Paid in Full a hood classic, nearly getting signed by The Notorious B.I.G., and that one time he got shot in D.C. and said f**k an ambulance and whipped his blue Lambo to the nearest emergency room.

We’ll be tapped in for every one of those tales. But we’re hoping Cam’s memoir goes deep (pause) into his book of rhymes, too. For all of the brilliantly absurdist bars you’ll find on his albums, there are plenty of WTF moments that require a rewind. Here are eight sets of lyrics from Cam’ron’s catalog that I hope he clears up in his forthcoming book.

Lyrics: “My grandfather got me mad / So I peed inside his orange juice / And asked him if it’s tangy”

Song: “Confessions”

Album: Confessions of Fire (1998)

While that’s one way to handle a family dispute, there are surely other means of conflict resolution that don’t involve tinkling in a morning beverage. But we’ve got questions for Cam. What the Hell Rell did grandpa do to get you that vexed? What did you learn from the situation? Was the drink, in fact, tangy? And perhaps the most pressing: You mad?? If Cam’ron spills the tea — or the Tang — this book will be a true page-turner.

Lyrics: “See, you thought I was banoodles / When I raped that poodle / You ain’t know I was cuckoo / And ate his doo doo / And put two scoops / In my Froot Loops / And convinced myself it was Cocoa Pebbles”

Song: “Confessions”

Album: Confessions of Fire (1998)

Cam’ron was full of crap when copping to unsavory behavior on this zany deep cut — or was he? We can’t let sleeping dogs lie; Cam’s gotta finish his breakfast and get to explaining.

Lyrics: “To the teacher who failed me / To the b**ch who never bailed me / Yeah, you thought I wasn’t getting out, right, b**ch? / Well now, I got out, f°°k you!”

Song: “F**k You”

Album: Confessions of Fire (1998)

Killa has been petty since his debut album; look no further than this hilarious interlude for proof. On “F**k You” — which features grade-A enabling from Mase — Cam lashes out at haters, doubters, and people simply doing their job (“That f**kin’ transit cop who was there every time I had to f**kin’ hop the train”). The Harlemite used those naysayers as fuel. Now they can serve as fodder, too.

Lyrics: “Tried to f**k my P.O., she ignored that / Said, ‘Know what, Cam? Get found with more crack, see what happen’”

Song: “Sports, Drugs & Entertainment”

Album: S.D.E. (2000)

Did Cam really let his intrusive thoughts win during a meeting with his parole officer? Pretty sure that’s not what “getting off on your charges” means, Killa.

Lyric: “My crib look like the Fontainebleau / A fountain, too – no water, only pumping Mountain Dew”

Song: “Bout It Bout It… Part III”

Album: Paid in Full (soundtrack) (2002)

Maybe Cam’ron believed the widespread ‘90s myth that consuming Mountain Dew reduces male sperm count, hence acting as a makeshift contraceptive. Or maybe dude just enjoyed the carbonated concoction as much as Kel loved orange soda. Whatever the case, we need to know more about this sticky-a**, citrusy pool that probably looked like it was swiped from a Nickelodeon set.

Lyrics: “I sit in Bahamas / With Alyssa Milano / Got the Cris’ and the ganja / And it’s gettin’ her calmer”

Song: “Shake”

Album: Purple Haze (2004)

No one is more confused by this lyrical vignette than Ms. Milano herself — the Charmed actress doesn’t recall ever meeting the man who made “Wet Wipes.” What better place for Cam to set the record straight than in his memoir?

Lyrics: “Lookin’ back on school, arts and crafts / F**k half the staff / Beat up half the class / I was like Dr. Dre though, I have to laugh / N***a wit’ an attitude, meet me after math”

Song: “Soap Opera”

Album: Purple Haze (2004)

We always imagined Cam’s adolescent persona was more wisecracking athlete than Deebo/Quagmire hybrid. Still, we bet he has some entertaining anecdotes inside and outside the classroom, from making whoopee to popping whoopee cushions to popping off at teachers. It’s time for show and tell.

Lyric: “The prognosis, diagnosis: IBS / And that’s irritable bowel, child, I had to spit it y’all / Kick to y’all, so it ain’t my fault if I s**t on y’all”

Song: “I.B.S.”

Album: Killa Season (2006)

Give us a whole chapter on Cam’ron’s gastrointestinal issues. We really mean it.



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