Long before she became a household name as a solo artist, Keri Hilson was penning chart-toppers for some of the biggest names in the music industry, including Mary J. Blige, Usher, and Britney Spears, solidifying her status as one of the most gifted songwriters behind the scenes. When her own breakout moment came via smash singles like “Knock You Down,” “Pretty Girl Rock,” and “Turnin Me On,” Hilson proved she wasn’t just writing the hits — she possessed all the skills and gifts to be the main character. After taking a step back from music, Hilson turned her attention to acting, bringing depth and relatability to roles in films like Think Like a Man, Almost Christmas, Don’t Waste Your Pretty, and For the Love of Money. Though her journey hasn’t been without setbacks or public scrutiny, Hilson has remained rooted in her creativity.
Now, after years away from the mic, Hilson is staging a return with a new album, We Need To Talk: Love — not to prove anything to anyone else, but to honor the artist within. In this In Her Words conversation for Mental Wellness Month, Okayplayer caught up with Hilson to discuss the tools she uses to stay grounded while navigating the unpredictable rhythms of a creative life, in an as-told-to below lightly edited for length and clarity.
On Creating Rituals for Wellness
Keri Hilson: I journal. I am in therapy. I have my therapist basically on call when I need an appointment. I used to have a standing [appointment] before things got really busy lately — I called it Therapy Thursdays. That’s just been really hard to keep because things are moving very fast again. My life is just a little more unpredictable. I still journal. I paint. Cooking and painting are things that I do — and walking and exposing myself to nature — those are also things I do very regularly that just help me maintain my sanity.
They help me sort my thoughts… do internal bookkeeping. When I’m mulling over something or ruminating on an idea… these are things that help me surface an issue or figure out a solution to a challenge.
I’ve also gone on spiritual retreats. Vacations every now and then when I need to — I’m taking one in June. There are certain things that I do for my mental well-being, and I just implement them.
On Comfort Through Cooking, Gardening and Nature Walks
The other night I landed and just felt so beside myself. We’ve been going, going, going. Most days when I am home, I’m cooking at least lunch — something small and quick. I eat very clean, so it’s quick stuff to make. I just felt like I needed to create something. I can’t remember what I made that night — but around midnight, I decided that wasn’t enough. It wasn’t that I was hungry, because I didn’t eat any, but I made a pie.
Cooking is my way of grounding. Gardening — literally grounding. That is one of the most grounding practices. I grow vegetables. Tomatoes, cucumbers. It’s really all about creating regimens that are in place for my sanity and grounding.
The walking in nature is grounding. The gardening outside — actually barefoot sometimes — that’s a literal grounding practice. The others are more just creative grounding. I play with my plants. I do have house plants, like 30 house plants. I think it’s about creating space and time for yourself.
When I feel [down], I know it’s usually because I haven’t expressed these activities in recent time… Last week that happened. I realized like, ‘Oh, I haven’t taken a walk this week.’ I brought my clothes and we walked in Rhode Island. Just beautiful, hilly, serene. A wild turkey crossed the road. It was kind of gloomy and rainy, like a cross between San Francisco and New Zealand. It was a beautiful walk.
On Spiritual Retreats and the Power of Clarity
One time, I went on a spiritual retreat in San Diego. I was going because I just felt so much inner turmoil at the time. This was maybe 10 years ago, around 2014 or 2015. I left that retreat and had broken up with the person I was seeing then because I left with so much clarity. I came with turmoil, and I left with clarity.
There was another retreat I did in Sedona. That was more of a spiritual group. We did prayers, meditation, hiking on the trail in the mountains. You kind of find your little spot and just connect. I left there with clarity too. I don’t want to give up some of the spiritual parts, but I know something had become very clear to me — something I needed to do in business. I don’t recall exactly, but I remember feeling like, ‘Ah, okay. I see this clearly now.’
On Learning to Manage Breakups and Difficult Times
You know what’s best for you. Even if it’s hard, keep pushing on. We know deep inside when something just is not right and not aligned with our desires. Get the help that you need if you need to sort through your thoughts and figure things out. There’s nothing wrong with that. There should be no stigma or shame attached to wanting to make wise decisions and wanting to lean towards health and healing. We all can feel conflicted. We all can feel confused. We all have overstayed our welcome in places and with people that don’t serve us, or we’ve outgrown, or whatever the scenario is for you, but I would say, get the help that you need.
I’ve never gone through it alone. I’ve got a beautiful tribe of people who helped me through life’s rough moments, which no one is exempt from. And tapping into your resources, be it people, methods, all of it, that’s like a cheat code. You don’t have to go it alone. You don’t have to, and you should not. There are people that have gone through it. There are people that can help you through it. There are books about it. There are so many methods now.
For me, one person would be my stylist, Jilene Coggins. She just has a way of changing and shifting your perspective. Like a therapist, or a spiritual guru. I call her The Love Guru. She helps you love yourself and accept yourself and the things you’re trying to sort out.
I have two therapist friends who are in Family and Children counseling. They’re really helpful too. I also have my spiritual advisors and people that I can call when I really am needing some guidance, besides my therapist.
On Music, Acting and Staying Present
Acting — it can be an escape. I was trying to think of a better word for it, but yes, it can be an escape. And I guess that can go good or bad depending on what’s going on. But while I was grieving my father, it was a welcomed escape from grief. That’s when I really threw myself further into acting, when I was grieving the loss of my father. So I think that’s been a welcome and healthy outlet for me.
Music as well. When I am creating and devoting myself to it… time stops. It brings your focus into the now. They say the root of anxiety is looking too far into the future, and the root of depression is ruminating over the past. Whenever you have something in front of you that you are devoted to, and focused on, it brings your focus into the now.”
There’s a book by Eckhart Tolle called The Power of Now. It’s a really difficult read. To be honest, I had to read it twice. A lot of big words and new concepts at the time. But now, I think I’d breeze through it. That book helped shift my perspective.
I think creating allows you to just pause time and focus, and not in a negative way, but focus on here and now, and that really gives your nervous system a break. It puts your mind and spirit at ease 100%. Music and acting, everything I do that I love, painting, cooking, whatever. Everyone has their thing that they’re passionate about, or their group of things, like I do.
On Being Recognized in Public and Choosing to Be a Vessel
That’s kind of easy, because I don’t ever want to actually be in a store of any kind. I shop for everything online. You won’t catch me in the mall. It used to be once a year at Christmas time — now I don’t even do that. I hate shopping of all kinds.
But yes, there are some things that you want normalcy with—like church. I’ve been approached by people and taken pictures at church. There are times when I may be going out to meet a friend, and we’re talking about something really serious. It could be an official therapy session. And someone may want a picture, and I’ve got to step outside of that moment.
But I don’t look at any of those things as hindrances. I look at them as blessings. There’s a switch that I have — it’s like I can be a vessel in this moment. There’s something I could say that may be imparted upon them for the rest of their life. There’s a way that I could inspire them.
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