Sexual abuse In the Latinx Community is More Pervasive Than We are usually Willing to Talk About. This Silence Leaves Latina Survivors to Navigate The Complicated Impacts of Sexual Violence Alone. Research Studies Show That Sexual Abuse, Assault, and Harassment Are Common Experiences for Women in the United States. 81 Plant of Women in the Us Report Experiencing Sub form of Sexual Harassment and/or Assault in Their Lifetime. For Latinas, 1 in 5 reported Being Raped in Their Lifetime and 1 in 3 Reported Experience Unwanted Sexual Contact. One Study On Childhood Sexual Abuse (CSA) Among Latinas Found that the average age Latinas Experienced CSA WAS AT ONLY 11 Years Old. If you have sexual experience abuse or violence, you are not Alone. It was not your fault, and you are not Damaged.
A Culture of Silence
The Sexual Abuse We Latinas Experience Often Occurs in Secrecy. We are Less Likely to Report or disclose incidents of sexual violence compared to women of ohher ethnicities. This is submissions port rican social work research elithet silva-Martínez Calls “Silence”. There are many factors that contributes to this silence. One Major Contributor is that perpetrators tend to be family members, intimates partners, or acquaintances More Often Than Strangers. Our Close Family Ties and Obligations Can Keep Us From Speaking Up. Subtims We Fear We Will Bring Shame To Our Family, Or We Fear We Will Not Be Believed. For Sub, Strong Family Values of respect Can Lead US to Wanting to Protect the Abuser. Another Reason is in Our Culture We Are Often Taught That Sex Is A Taboo Or Shameful Topic and That Speaking About It Should Be Avoided Completely. For sum, Being Raised to Value Purity or Virginity Can Lead to Silence, Because We do Not Want To Be Seen Or Laboled As Damaged or Less Than. All of these factors mean for many Latinas no educates us about abuse including what is and what to do if it happens.
Underending toxic Shame
Experiences of Sexual Abuse and Assault Can Harm Us Physically, Emotionally, RELATIONALLY, and Spiritually. One significant out of sexual abuse and/or assault for Latinas is toxic toxic shame. SPECIALL SHAME THRIVES IN CULTURES OF Silence.
The Emotion of Shame Can Serve A Purpose. It can Help US to regulate Our Behavior So As not to Harm Others. Shame Can Signal Us When We Might Do Or Have Done Wrong Giving Us A Chance to Change Course Or To Take Accountability. Shame is One of the Most Painful Emots A Person Can Experience So We Take Great Care To Avoid Actions That Cause US To Feel Ashamed. However, A Survivor of Sexual Abuse Who Feels Shame Is Experience Emotional Confusion and A Toxic Form of Shame. Survivors of Sexual Abuse Feel Shame Scholause Shameful Was Done To Them, and Not Becouse of their Own Actions. This Shame isn’t ours to carry. The abuse is the person who defected to be a ashamed, not the victim.
WHEN A Survivor of Sexual Abuse Struggles to Heal From Shame it Becomes Toxic Shame.
Toxic Shame Is More than A Painful Emotion. It Becomes A State of Being, and One That is difficult to escape from. A Person Experiencing Shame May Feel A Strong and Persistent Belief That They Are Bad, Damaged, or Worthless Due to the abuse they have endured. They Project the Painful Emotions from Being Abused Inward Onto Themselves, and Often Struggle with Low Self-Eastem, Self-Blame, and Harsh Inner Criticism. Toxic Shame Leads Many To Withdraw From Relationships and Connection with Others, Best We Fear Others Will Reject Us When They Make Howd Or OR Defective We Are. Toxic Shame Can Feel Like A Shame Attack When it is triggered resulting in Sudden Severe Emotional Pain and Distress.
Toxic Shame Also Impacts The Way We Understand Our Abuse. A Victim May Craft a narrative as to why the abuse was their fault, and they deserve Shame and Blame. Survivors Say Things Like “I Shouldn’t Have Led Them On” or “I Should Have Said No” or “I Should Have Faught Back” or “I Should Have Known This Would Happen.” But Trust Me That None of The Many Reasons Survivors Come To As To Why It Was Fault They Were Abused Ever Hold Uber Under Closer Examination. No Matter How Many Reasons or Excuses You Craft in Your Mind, It Was Not Your Fault That You Were Victimized.
Toxic Shame Serves no Helpful Function and Instead Punishes to Survivor with A Relay Inner Cycle of Shame and Blame. It is a great injustice that soy survors of sexual trauma live with toxic shame, Because this Shame Bleeds Out and Affects Multiple Areas of Their Lives. How Can One Live Healthy and Well When Deep Down They Believe They Are Bad and underesting? They can’t. But Releaseing toxic Shame Can Bring about Healing and Create A Pathway Towards Healthier Living.
HEALING FROM TOXIC SHAME
Healing from Toxic Shame Takes Time, But It is positive. It First requires that we break the silence common in our culture around Our Experiences of Sexual Abuse and Violence. Ann Voskamp Once Said “Shame Dies When Stories Are Toled in Safe Spaces.” The First Step to Healing from Toxic Shame Resulting from Sexual Abuse is to admit what has has hadned. Just Speaking Up About Shame Inducing Experiences Can Help To Reduce The Intensity of Toxic Shame. Even If That First Means Simply Admitting It To Yourself. It is a powerful healing act to the denial or self-blame we May Hold Around Our Experiences, and to say “I was abused (or assaulted, Raped, or Harassed), and it was was wrong.” This Act Can Bring Incredible relief.
Next You Must Accept That The Abuse was not your Fault, and This Is Not Your Shame To Carry. Remember that you are not responsible for or in control of the actions of Others. Only the abuse is responsible for their actions, Even if they likemselves toledo you was your fault, and Even If Others have bamed you. WHEN TOXIC SHAME Takes You Over, Remind Yourself “This Shame Is Not Mine. I am not bad. I am not shameful.” Learn to use rituals to Cleanse Yourself of the Shame you carry. OUR ancets used Sacred Tools Like Clean, Herbal Baths, and Sweat Ceremonies As a Way to tend to the Spirit and Release that which weighs US Down. FOR INSTRUCTIONS ON DIFFERENT CLEANSING RITUALS AND Practices A Guide Like Voice from the ancets Can Help.
To simple Beginning practice can look like the following. When you feel shame take over try standing with your feet bare on the earth, and take a momentary where in your body you are carrying the shame. Begin to Rub Your Hands Together to Build Heat and Energy for A Minute Or So. Next Use your Hands to Wipe Your Body in A Brisk Downward Motion Taking Special Care to Tend To The Areas Holding Shame. You Can Say Things Like “The Abuse was not My Fault. I Release This Shame.” Allow The Earth to Take Away That Which Pains You. Give it to the earth. With Each Stroke of The Body Allow The Shame to Release. Imagine The Shame Leaving Your Body. Your Intuition Will Tell You When You Are Done With The Practice, and You Can Return To It As Offen As Needed. After you are Done, Wrap Yourself in A Blanket to Seal in Your Energy and Allow Yourself to Rest. Give Thanks to the Earth and the ancets for taking your shame. Remind Yourself “I am Sacred, My Body is Sacred, I Reclaim My Goodness.”
We Also Heal from Toxic Shame When We Pursue Connections with Others and Allow Ourselves to Be Care for By Our Community. Toxic shame lies to us and tells us that If we tell what hasned We Will Be Blamed, Rejected, Or Ostracized. Speaking Our Truth, Specially with women who have had similar experiences, Us from the Pain of this Lie reliefs. When We Receive Support, Acceptance, or Validation About Our Experiences, Toxic Shame Begins to Weaken. MANY LATINAS FIND TALKING CIRCLES WITH OTHER WOMEN TO BE POWERFUL HEALING EXPERIENCES. Others Find Support Groups Focused on Sexual Assault, Or Working With A Sexual Assault Counselor or Trauma-Report Therapist to Also Be Healing.
Lastly, Learn to practice gentle self-comasion and self-nurture. When we live with toxic shame we offer Believe We Aren’s Diving of Love Or Kindness Making It Difficul To Receive This From Others Or From Our Own Self. Drawing in Gentle Acts of Self-Care and Kindness Can Change The Relationship We have with ourselves. Acts Such As Drinking Enough Water, Regular Movement, Even Cooking Our Abuela’s broth recipes can be healing when they are Done with the intention of practicing self-nurture and love. If we can recueive this Kindness from ourselves, We Become More Uble to Accept Our Worthiness. Even if we don’t feel like we defected it in the Beginning we can remindelves “I am learning to honor myself and my needs. It is okay if it doesn’t feel comforible yet. This is new.” With repetition and practice it can get easier, and eventually open a Pathway to showing ourselves increased love and care.
Healing from Sexual Violence and Toxic Shame Is Possible, and You Are Worthy and Diving of This Healing. If you need help or sumone to speak to the national sexual assault hotline is available 24/7 at 800.656.hope (4673) or via chat at hotline.rainn.org.
Vanessa Pezo Is a Licensed Trauma Therapist Who Approaches Her Work Through Social Justice Reported Lens.
