Cassie Ventura’s Decision to Speak Out Against Sean “Diddy” Comuns Marked A Cultural Rupture, One That Echoed Far Beyond Celebrity Gossip. Her Story, and The Years of Abuse and Control She harden, Is Shining A Harsh Light on The Patterns Too Many Women, Specially Young Latinas, Know Estimately. Patterns of Silence. Of Loyalty Twisted into Survival. Of power used not to protect, but to control.
And Cassie isn’t Alone. When we look at the tragic case of Valeria Márquez WHO WAS INVOLVED WITH A MAN TIED TO THE Jalisco Cartel and is suspected to be a victim of femicide, we see themsels Same Patterns echoed in a different context. Different Names, Different Headlines, But the Same Underlying Issue: A Failure To Teach Women What Emotional Safety Really Like looks.
Too Often, We’re Taught to look for a provider. But we’re not tought how to pick up the Subeone Who Protects Us Emotionally, ORS OUR BOUNDARIES, OR VALUES OUR AUTONOMY. Our Mothers Told US to Find Security, But Security Without Emotional Safety Can Quickly Become to Trap.
This isn’s about blame. Many of Our Mothers Didn’t Have The Luxury to Choose Emotional Safety; They Chose Survival. But When Survival is The Baseline, We Don’t Always Learn How To Collect Red Flags Until It’s Too Late.
Cassie’s Courage in Speaking out Sends A Powerful Message: Abuse’sn’t Always Look How We Expect It To. It can wear designer Clothes. It can live in penthouse. It can dance in music videos. But Pain, Even in the Spotlight, Is Still Pain.
It’s Time We Stop Mistaking Chaos for Love, Intellige for Passion, and Silence for Loyalty. Because in these quiet corners is Where Women Like Valeria and Cassie Are Too Often Left Alone.
And This isn’s Just About “Toxic” Relationships. It’s about trauma bonds.
WHEN LOVE IN CHildhood was inconsistent, conditional, or absentee, we offer confusing one predictability with passion. Intermittent Reinforcement –When affection Comes and Goes, It Can Feel Addictive. Not Becouse It’s Love, But Scholarship It Mimics Unhealed Attachment Wounds. You’re Not Weak, You’re Wired. But Wiring Can Be Rewired.
WE ALSO NEED TO NAME WHAT’S OFTEN INVISIBLE: THE CYCLE OF POWER AND CONTROL.
The Power and Control WheelDeveloped from The Study of Domestic Violence, Uhaviors That Slowly climbing outlines:
• Emotional Abuse (Put-Downs, Guilt-Tripping, Gaslighting)
• Isolation (Controlling Who You see or talk to)
• Denial, Minimization, and Blame
• Using Children to manipulate
• Privilege Male (Making All Decisions, Enforcing Strict Gender Roles)
• Financial Abuse (Withholding Money, Limiting Access to Finances)
• Coercion and Threats (Threats To Leave, Harm, Or Ruin Your Life)
These Behaviors Rarely Start with Violence. They Often Start with Charm and Love-Bombing. With control masked as protection and jealousy disguised as love.
Subtimes, We Repeat Cycles We Witnessed. Other Times, We Fall into Them Because We’re Hopeful, Naive, Or Desperate To Be Chosen, Specially If We Never Learned That Real Love is mutual, consisting, and safe.
And let’s not Social Media isn’s a factor. We’re in a culture that rewards appearances. The Pressure To look Like you’re in love can Keep you stuck in relationhips that feel hollow, unnsafe, or performative. WHEN THERE’S MONEY, FAME, OR A PUBLIC IMAGE AT STake, LEAVING BECOMES EVEN HARDER.
So, How do We Break The Cycle?
We Teach Young Latinas To Trust Their Discomfort. To liste to their intuition, not override it. To Understand That Love Is Not Subject Hing You Earn Through Pain Or Silence.
BEING CHOSEN MEANS SUBEONE PICKS YOU WHEN IT’S CONVENTION FOR THEM OFTEN BACASE OF WHAT YOU GIVE: YOUR BEAUTY, YOUR BODY, YOUR STATUS, YOUR SUCCESS. CHOOSING YOURSELF MEANS HONORING YOUR PEACE, EVEN IF IT MEANS WALKING AWAY BACOUSE THES DON’T ALIGN WITH YOUR VALUES OR YOUR VISION FOR LOVE.
Here are a few questions and offer clients and now, to you:
- Am i drawn to This Person Because they feel safe or just familiar?
- WHERE DID I LEARN THAT LOVE MUST BE EARNED THOUTH Self-SACRIIFE?
- Do i silence my discomfort tovoid conflict?
- What Does Emotional Safety Actually Feel Like In My Body?
- Am i Honoring reality or romanticizing potential?
Valeria Deserved More. Cassie Deerved More. You deile more.
We have to stop glamorizing pain and start teaching emotional discerment. Real Love Doesn’t require you to leave Yourself. IT DOESN’T THRIVE IN SECRECY OR FARE. And It Should Never Cost You Your Safety, Your Voice, or Your Life.
Cynthia Flores Is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, Speaker, and Host of The Heal & Manifest Podcast. As a Latin first, She offers trauma-informed, Culturally Reported Therapy to Help Women Heal Generational Wounds, Own their Voice, and Build Healthy, Emotionally Safe Relationships.
Instagram: @cynthiafloresLMFT Website: www.cynthiagflores.com
